I've been thinking and praying about writing on this topic for quite some time. It it is just really hard for me to talk about this. I L-O-V-E my children. I seriously think they are the coolest kids I have ever met (I may be a bit bias!), but God has chosen to give us a Difficult child. Everyday I love this child, but many days I don't enjoy or like him. I didn't always see it as a blessing, but I am starting to see glimpses that it is truly a blessing.
I want to share our story with you. Hopefully, this will encourage others out there in their life as a parent and bless them. I hope to be blessed too as I am reminded of how far we have come and the hope of our days ahead.
I honestly believe that parenting is hard. But, this is a different level of parenting...EXTREME parenting.
All children can be difficult, but these children are EXTREMELY difficult.
Like on a whole. new. level!!!!!!!
If you have a Difficult child, you know it! Most likely you knew it from this child's birth or sometime soon after.
I also believe that MANY people (a growing number) have a Difficult child.
There are also many different kinds of Difficult children and levels of difficulty. Is your child disabled? Has Down Syndrome? ADHD? Autism? RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) from adoption?We have our own individual struggle, just as you may if you are reading this. It is a hard topic to talk about. You easily feel as though you are failing. Strangers can be quick to point out your parenting faults (You know, our kids probably just need a good spanking and then they will be better! Man...why didn't I think of that! =)!!) You try. You try harder. You try even HARDER! You shed many tears over what in the world to DO with this child!?!
This is where we are in our parenting journey. It will continue for many more years. We will have successes and many more failures. One step forward, two steps back.
By God's grace we will do this over and over.
By God's grace we will fight for our child.
By God's grace we will not give up.
Why? Because this Difficult child is OUR CHILD. We love this child!
Join me on this journey.
Please don't leave comments of judgement. I don't need that...I'm a mom, I already can pour guilt on myself when I'm not careful!
Please feel free leave comments of your own story-I'll be praying for you.
There is so much to cover on this topic, so I will try to take it slowly and cover only one topic (hopefully) with each post! Here we go:
Who Our Difficult Child Is
If you don't know us, you may not know which child is Difficult. If you do know our family, it is hard to miss who our Difficult child is: Keaton.
Allow me to introduce him to you...Keaton is a 7 1/2 year old boy. He has adorable brown eyes with the longest eye lashes! His hair is brown and full and it occasionally (usually on Sunday mornings before church!) has a mind of it's own sticking up in random places.
Keaton is extremely strong and uses his strength in creative ways (recently he got stuck up too high in a tree and just this morning was balancing himself on the dinning room table with his hands while his feet leaned up in the air against the wall near the ceiling.)
The energy of this child is unbelievable and is hard to describe...let's just say for now that there is a lot of it!
Keaton has a great compassion for babies and for someone who is injured (that is if he wasn't the one who injured him!)
Keaton loves to play with everyone (young and old alike) and loves to make people laugh.
Keaton is a joy (on our good days!!!) and we love him so much.
You will get to know Keaton more in the coming posts in this series.
Keaton with one month old Hudson
I will always love your prayers for raising this child to love the Lord and for our patience in parenting!
12 comments:
Tarena- I admire your bravery and transparency on such a touchy subject. I'm looking forward to hearing your story and thoughts on this subject.
Tarena- You are amazing! I agree with Serena! Praying for you.
Let me join the club! My difficult child is my oldest daughter and I sometimes just want to pull my hair out and ask her why can't we just have fun? Because being her momma isn't fun a lot of the time. Go on and tell your story! You will get no judgement from me and I can't wait to hear where you have been and where you are going.
I can't wait to read your story. Thank you for sharing.
agreed! Praying for you!
God gave you Keaton because He knew you are the perfect mother for Keaton. God has and will continue to equip you exactly when and how you need it to guide and help Keaton grow. He entrusted that little boy to you and Tim because He knew no one better could raise him then you two.
Love you!
Lindsey
I really admire your bravery, this is definitely a hard subject to broach at all, let alone online! I can't wait to read more ... sometimes I think every one of my children is my "difficult child" (of course, then I wonder if it's just my parenting skills) and since our baby has down syndrome, I'm expecting some curve balls from her! I love your blog, thank you for opening up - I'm sure it will be inspirational for us to read!
Wow! You all are so wonderful! Thank you for your encouraging words!
I will be praying for you who have Difficult children and are in the trenches of this battle with me!
I'm really excited to share more soon!
blessings!
Tarenna, I look forward to reading more about your gift from God. Keaton is an awesome kid. I miss him! We had great times together! God has His hand on Him and loves him even more than you can imagine. Blessings to all of you! Give Keaton a hug for me.
Aww Tarena, the fact that you arent afraid to share about this preciouse gift from God is in itself an amazeing step that not many of us ever do take. Difficult child is a word to me that I myself couldnt express to others, but belive it or not My Little Sweet Adrian that I soo dearly Love, ever so often on so many days that just arent the brightest of days for him , tear at myself and feel helpless and tell myself how to be that better mother to a difficult child in a diffrent way. So often have I thought and prayed about it, and one amazeing thing that I here and there tought so many times or just came to mind, and never knew would actually take steps into actually putting it into reality, HOMESCHOOL.. I still am in disbelief how without even really knowing that its something I would even look into ..here I am looking and praying to teach and raise not just Adrian but Little Gabriel with the Lords help ofcourse. And based on just this one example and knowing how you have fully put your trust in the Lord, it will be day to day, month to month, year to year Lords guidance, as He has helped you make it thus far. be Blessed your in my prayers. Cant wait what you have to share. =)
all I have to say for now is... when in the world did Keaton get to be 7 1/2!!!
Blessings :-)
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